rumpelstiltskln:

if I had a twin I would go into crowds of strangers and profess my love to someone and then say “if our love isn’t meant to be, I will go back in time and slap myself” and then my twin would burst in and slap me

(via the-church-of-destiel)

March 22nd, 2014 // 212,247 notes

bootybureau:

getoffmybloghoe:

Internet history won’t tell you anything, if parents really want to know what their kids are up to check their most recent emojis

image

(Source: freddifish, via virused)

February 23rd, 2014 // 241,079 notes

worst part about being in a long distance relationship is dealing with the frustration of NOT HAVING SEX FOR MONTHS BECAUSE THEYRE SO FAR AWAY  

February 23rd, 2014 // 2 notes
shingekinokyojinheaven:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time my sisters and i were driving around and we saw a mcdonald’s and the m was kind of loose because there was a bunch of wind
and my older sister was like “mel i dare you do go steal that m”
so of course i don’t back down from a dare and i pried the m loose from the sign and we stole that mcdonald’s m and we hung it outside of our house because our last name starts with m and it was clever okay
but the manager of that mcdonalds FOLLOWED US HOME TO OUR HOUSE and they came to our door a few hours later and my mom answered and the manager was like “…it’s peculiar that you have a mcdonald’s m outside of your house when ours got stolen”
and my mom was like “yeah what an odd coincidence”
and the manager came by like the next day and my mom answered again and the manager was like “alright we know what your fucking brat kids did” and my mom was like “my children would nEVER”
and she closed the door on her and she was like “marielle you little shit” but then we took the m off of our house to throw off the manager and it’s in our garage now
but yeah i stole a big golden arch from mcdonald’s once


amateur
ven0moth:

no iphone
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